It's the most dreadful time of the year

That's right, kiddos. It's audition time.

Not too many people were reading this during the Barefoot in the Park Panic Session of '07, but believe me, it was epic. (If you really want to put yourself through it, click on "audition" or "Barefoot in the Park" in the taglist...but you're warned ahead of time). I stress like nothing else during auditions.

The past couple years the theater department functioned on two major principles: small shows and precasting. So they would pick a show with six people in it and say, "We'll give this part to that girl and that part to this guy and I'm sure we can use this girl somewhere..." and that would be it. Auditions were a mere formality. And unfortunately for me, I didn't have a theater scholarship starting out, so I was not often selected for parts...especially since one girl who was a scholarship student was of a similar build and similar look and similar personality. Every time we auditioned, the role would go to her. It was frustrating, and it hurt, especially since the girl had one of the personalities where she would insult you without verbally insulting you. Does that make sense? She was very sneaky about it, but no matter what she said to me- even when she said something nice- the way she said it made me feel about two inches tall. I hated being around her, because I always felt like I was the most pathetic, unlikeable, untalented person in the world, and that she hung out with me simply because she felt obligated to, because the girl she decided was her best friend started out as my best friend.

(*phew* Whether that makes any sense or not, it was stressful.)

In any case, with all the changes in the department, I have a lot more hope. Which is good, because I really want to play Adelaide in Guys and Dolls. I could play her really, really well. She's right in my vocal range, she's a character part rather than a straight-up ingenue, and I understand her character.

Besides, it's my turn. It really is my turn. The older girls in the department have had leads- Betty and Ruth in Marigolds, Andromache and Hecuba in Trojan Women, Ethel and Corie in Barefoot in the Park, the Narrator in Joseph. I've never had a big part. I've had small character parts that I've worked hard at and rocked out, like Janice and Mrs. Paddy, but that's about it. And the younger girls have two, three, four years to go, with plenty of chances to play their perfect parts. Every time I audition, I either get a small part or I'm told "Don't worry, you're talented, just work hard and you'll get it next time." There is no next time. This is the last time. It's my turn to shine.

And to make me feel better (and hopefully stifle the panic-driven adrenaline spikes), I'm going to list things.

-Mike the Almighty Director is very balanced in casting...or at least more balanced in casting than the old regime was. He's not one to constantly place the same people in the leads over and over again.

-MTAD knows that this is my last semester, that I'm a hard worker, and that I really want a part. He also knows how broken-up I was over not getting a part in Barefoot, and hopefully that will play into things.

-Ashley, Kirby, and Becca aren't auditioning.

-Chelsea and Courtney were narrators for Joseph, and they're more ingenues than character actresses, which means they would probably get considered more for Sarah Brown.

-MTAD isn't asking the non-majors and -minors (like the music department people) to prepare a monologue, which most likely means that they will be used in only singing parts and ensemble. Besides, Adelaide is a character part and requires more acting than a classically trained voice.

-I would be shocked if an incoming freshman got a part. Seriously. They would have to KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK to get a lead right off the bat.

-I'm short. Which means if it comes down to me and a taller girl, and the guy is average height, they may very well go with me. (That happened in high school).

And finally:

-I am working so, so, so hard. I work out every day. I picked a socko-boffo song and a hilarious monologue that are perfect to show that I'm right for Adelaide. I'm going to talk to MTAD about how I can improve my audition, and what he's looking for from me. I've been belting every day.

I want this part so bad. So, so, so, incredibly bad.